Learning to Follow His lead

This year has been a challenging year to say the least. My family is learning to come together without our fearless leader, Daddy, and each find our place. It's been interesting to walk through grief as a Mom, while observing and supporting each of my kids as they are grieving too. I have had many situations come up where I just didn't know what I am to do. It could be practical things. It could be relational things. It could just be simple things like I lost something or I don't know where Bill kept that! So here's what I've been learning. The Bible tells us to "Pray without ceasing." When I was a kid, I thought, Well that's impossible! I can't pray all the time! I am doing other things too! Of course we aren't praying at every moment are we? I'm normally quick to pray in situations, but as a married woman, I was also quick to consult with my husband for his wisdom. That's totally normal! But now that he is in Heaven, I am realizing how often I would consult with him before praying. So the Lord has given me a gift lately. I am continuously praying as things come up. Is prayer a magical solution? It it the "Power of Prayer"? I would challenge that thought. I see no power in prayer. I see power coming from a real interactive relationship with God. His Holy Spirit speaks. He brings the answer to mind. He answers prayer. He gives wisdom when I need it. I can't handle all the wisdom at once. I don't need it all now.
As I find myself wondering what now? Or why? Or who gets the honor and praise for this? Its got to be our Lord. I NEED to turn to Him.
I can't even tell you all the stories of how He just keeps answering prayer. I'm telling you I would have a story for every single day. It's mind blowing how He is always with me. I tell you because He is always with you too. Call out to Him. He is right there. I'm not referring to just a rescuer. I'm saying a comforter. A PEACE that only He can give. The Bible also says that "He goes before me." When we face uncertainty, believe this truth! He goes before you. He is right there ready to walk it out with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. So friend, I encourage you to pray. To accept Him. To allow the Lord to guide your life. Ask Him to show up for you. He promises that He will.

A Return after a Looong break!

Hello my friends!

I have decided to come back to the blog. It has been many years since I've been here, but I see the good in journaling and sharing my adventures!
So I see the last you heard from us was in 2013! I've had so much happen in these past few years, so I don't even know how to encapsulate the details.

Bill started working as a full time Evangelist in 2014. He poured into sharing the gospel, discipleship and building up the church. He started making youtube videos on his channel. It is under Willliam Gucker. He had a website called Beefy Sheep, but I decided not to keep it running since it didn't have activity on it. The videos are still available and organized on his youtube channel though.

So some big things are we found out that Bill had a brain tumor in October of 2015. At the time, I was 7 months pregnant with William. Bill & I made some decisions on treatment, & started chemo and then radiation. William was born shortly after in January of 2016. We had a quiet year after that first treatment, and then the cancer returned in the Spring of 2018. We tried another round of treatment, but it wasn't helping. Bill tried many other methods and some experimental medicines too. During this time, our church community,  friends and family rallied around us and supported like nothing I've ever seen. It was such a special time. Bill went to be with the Lord on September 28, 2018 with his closest friends and family around his bedside. His father witnessed two angels over his bed moments before. Truly amazing.

So it's been a year since Bill went to be with the Lord now. The kids and I have spent the last year grieving, and getting reoriented as a family. What does life look like without daddy here? It's been hard and good all at the same time. It's been amazing to see how the Lord has allowed me to stay home with the kids, continue to home school, and be taken care of by the Lord himself through the body of Christ and some provisions through the State.

So I'm not sure exactly what content I will be sharing on here yet, but I just am sitting down and starting. We will see what it becomes. It might be a place that I share memories of Bill. It might be our adventures as a family. It might be a place about my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It might be about life and what it looks like to live in a big family. At any rate, it's my journey. It's something that is worth sharing. I hope you can come, learn and enjoy. Be encouraged because my hope is is the Lord. I hope you can see His goodness through my life and family!

Rachel