He Goes Before Me

I've been studying the plight of Israel out of Egypt in Exodus recently. If you don't know the story, check out Exodus chapters 13-15. Here are a few observations that I'm making: God's attributes are displayed through His miracles. God's glory is something not to be taken lightly. The plagues in Israel where to display his mighty power, but the parting of the Red Sea would display his Glory. Imagine seeing an army coming toward you, and then seeing the Red Sea part with dry land to cross. Now if this isn't enough to boggle the mind, a pillar of cloud is what you follow on your journey to the promised land, aka Canaan. This cloud separates you from the Egyptian army and even fights for you. I just love the plot twist when a pillar of fire (who happens to be an ANGEL of GOD!!) panics the Egyptian army and even clogs up the wheels on their chariots. I am also amazed every time I read the scripture in Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent."
I say to myself. Silent? You want me to be silent? Now some people are inclined to fight and others to flight in confrontation. I'm a person who tends to fight. What a peace to know that HE will fight for me! He does. I can find courage knowing that the Lord is going before me. He will go before you too! This is where belief comes in.
God's faithfulness is displayed in His promises that He keeps. We see how he promised to smite the Egyptians with plagues, and he did. He promises to deliver them, and he did. He promised to go before them, and He did. I can keep going here, but I think you get the picture. So do you believe God? Because He promises to LEAD the way. We get to trust that in His leading.
In Ephesians 2:8, the Bible says, "For by grace are you saved through faith, it is not of your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Oh, the comfort I find that I don't have to be good enough, or have enough strength or even check off enough boxes to be saved by my Lord. He goes before me. He has fought that battle. Jesus did the work for me. He paid that debt that I owe in my sinful state. Thank you for going before me.
So how are you taking the reigns today? Are you ready to Trust that the Lord will go before you in your trials? Lord help me to trust you. You go before me!

Got Peace?

This morning, I played a few stories on an audio CD for my young children as we were getting things in order for home school.
The CD played cute little poems and stories that were teaching a concept or moral.
I started to chuckle as I remembered a few years back that some of my kids were listening to this same CD while they were going to bed at night. I came in to check on them, & they were both terrified asking to turn off the stories.
Upon further inspection, I found out that one of the poems had a line saying, "and then she came to eat the children!"
Now, if you are anything like me, when it's time for bed, my mind can start thinking about all the things. My "to do" list starts to grow, & my imagination becomes vivid as I process my day. Relate?
Well, I checked the CD, and quickly realized that the kids were hearing something that wasn't really being said. There was no line that said that the children would be eaten, it's just what they thought they heard.
This reminds me of how many times my inner dialogue is not truth. The enemy wants to kill, steal & destroy. This can happen even in our thought life.
So how do we keep our peace? How can we fight the spiritual battle to keep our hearts & minds on Christ?
It starts with a relationship with God. Then, read your Bible & pray. God will give you understanding of the scriptures through the Holy Spirit. He also gives us the church to edify each other.
Once we learn what God has for us in His Word, we are able to walk in truth & love. This results in peace!
I don't know about you, but my life is full of challenges, decisions & action. It's easy to get overwhelmed & lost in the fast paced days. I have to continually be reminded of the gospel and how it relates to me!
So a scripture that comes to my mind frequently is Philippians 4:8-9 says, 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
When I turn my heart to a place of gratitude, the Lord keeps my heart and mind healthy, and peaceful. 
What scriptures do you meditate on to keep a peaceful, clear heart and mind?

Transformation!

I did a thing this week...Mind Blown over here. I have an unruly puppy dog who has been terrorizing my house for a while now. I've been working diligently to teach & train him for the past year.
Well, out of desperation, I decided to get a training collar, and after ONE DAY of training him, he is now a sweet, happy, & obedient doggie. I can't even believe it. He's a totally different dog!

This reminds me of what God does in our life. He changes us to make us a totally different. We become something brand new when we choose to trust & follow Him.
The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, That if any man is in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has passed away, the new has come.

If you keep reading that passage, you will see that Christ made a way for reconciliation to God. You and I are not perfect, and the sacrifice that Jesus made for us made a way to know our Lord. 
When a person chooses to accept Christ, in a moment, our eyes are open to the things of the Lord. We are given the Holy Spirit to have understanding of the scriptures and who God is.

If you are searching for something better...A change in your life... He is calling you. He is waiting for you to turn your heart to Him. Call out to Him in prayer. You won't regret it. He is Worthy!

Favorite Homeschool resources this year...

Well, this post will be a lighter subject!
I wanna connect with Moms & any avid reader today. You may be homeschooling or you may simply be looking for something good to read to your kids.
I like to occasionally share what I'm doing in our Home school setting.
Let's start with Read Alouds. One of my favorite books to read pretty much every year is "Trumpet of the Swan" by E.B.White. This book is just an easy read that is so easy to sit and listen to while doing something quiet like a handwriting page or two.
Other favorites this year are: God's Promise by Sally Michael. This book is a great family devotional to poke through each morning. We finished her Names of God last year, & it was well written and illustrated along with good activity suggestions.
We've got a strong lean in on our Bible readings this year. So we are currently practicing lots of verses for AWANA and doing our Bible Study on Moses together. This is taking most of our read aloud time each morning. I'm sure once we start to approach Christmas, we will step back from some of the books to do an Advent book.
This year, we are in our second year of using a Math Curriculum called "Teaching Textbooks." I am really liking it because I am not doing the checking!!!! This is working well for us since we have a several laptops and computers for the kids to access their lessons. The program teaches a lecture, and then has the student practice and review the concepts. I can even turn on hints and helps to keep them moving along. I like the quick links to show me what lesson is associated with each problem that they are working through. It's easy to navigate for sure. One of my favorite things is that this website offers a family year rate, so the price actually goes down as I have more students.
For Science, I'm going through a series of Usborne Science booklets. My kids can either independently read a section and journal what they are learning through writing and art or they can listen to me read it and then do journaling. It's a great way to do science when keeping it simple. We also supplement with COOP classes and hands on science box subscriptions like Spangler Science.
For Language, I've got many levels going at once since I'm homeschooling 5 students. For my grammar school kids, I like First Language Lessons, Including Audio cds. I like the quick simple lessons and then we are done! It's all scripted, so I don't have to think ahead before the lesson. Some of my kids are doing ABEKA workbooks. They are good to pace through and work through the nitty gritty of grammar. My youngest student isn't able to independently go through a workbook like that, so I like to default to Language Lessons.
So those are some of my favorite resources this year for school.
I have just finished a grief support class, and have benefited by that.
I also am reading a book called Miss the Carraige by Shannon Gallatin, & how the soul grows through loss A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser. (Thank you Debra!)
I don't know about you, but I have trouble getting too far into a book before getting side tracked by different needs of my family. I really enjoy podcasts. That will have to be for another post!
What are you reading? It doesn't have to be home school or kid related. Please do share!
Rachel

What has happened will not define me.

I heard someone say this week that "what has happened to us does not define us." This is really basic and obvious, but it is something that I find myself learning over & over again. Being married or single shouldn't be the main definition of my identity. Being a Mother shouldn't be the main identity of myself. My kids being "good" kids should not be wrapped up in my identity. I am not a sad story or broken mess because my husband died.
So who am I?
Right now I am asking myself this very thing, in certain social settings. Walking through a new and different season of life can be disorienting.
You might be thinking something like:
"How does she do it?"
"That's such a sad story!"
"I don't even know what I would do."
Well, here's the thing. When you have a personal relationship with God, HE is PEACE. (Isaiah 26:3) The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is THE COMFORTER. (Matthew 5:4)
Matthew 14 is one of my favorite passages to read when I think about Faith and Trust in our Lord. Peter steps out of the boat to walk toward Jesus on the water. At one point, he sees the wind and waves and becomes afraid taking his eyes off of Jesus. It is then that he starts to sink.
Aren't we all inclined to become afraid of the unknown and future? When we have that big question mark in life that we can't fix! It's easy to take our eyes off of the Lord and start to sink.
I know that as long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him, He will not only comfort me and bring peace, but He also promises much more than just peace and comfort. I can be secure because He provides, protects and guides me. My identity is in Christ.
So friend, I encourage you to keep your eyes on the Lord. Search for him. Read the Book of John & start talking to God if you don't know where to start. He will never leave or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5) Put your trust in Him today!

The Before and After

Dear Bill,

Today I am missing you. I feel the longing to be in the "BEFORE" you were gone. The time we had together was so special. It was a time when life was growing, we were making traditions for our family. The kids were all small and cuddling all around us. It's a time that now stands still in my mind. Because you were with us. Oh, how I miss you. I remember your eagerness to pray for me when I would come to you because I needed to regroup. We were quite the team, weren't we?

So I'm sitting here in the AFTER. It's after you are gone. I know that one day I will see you again. The hard part is this in between. Finding the new normal. I mean normal wasn't going to be like my memories are of BEFORE. The kids are getting older. The season is changing with the kids. We had a couple of teenagers together. Now I have more than a couple. I have this weird tension of wanting the before, but being ok with learning to be in the after.
Grief...it's such a complicated emotional state.

So even though I miss you, I know it's going to be OK. The Lord is providing my every need. I sure need Him to walk me though this season!

In this AFTER, I miss you, and I thank you for the sweet memories I have of us.
Love,
Rachel

Unity of the Church

To my fellow followers of Jesus,

As you have already read in the scriptures: the Church is one, just as Jesus, the Father, and the Spirit are one. They ARE undivided. The Church is instructed by God to be united, to agree, to be of one mind, one Spirit, and to move in one accord.

To the simple childlike follower of Jesus, these instructions are not a matter of interpretation, but of obedience. Let's conform our lives to his teaching. Let us walk by faith and not by sight.

Although the Church may appear divided, it is not. There is only one true King and one true people. The same Spirit dwells in every true believer, and is always leading the children of God toward love and unity. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Remember that we have an enemy, and he seeks to divide. His ways are knowable, and rather predictable if we are wise and on guard. Our Lord warned us that false men would creep into the "church" and lead people astray, bringing them under bondage through preaching false gospels and teaching as doctrine the commandments of men. False teachers esteem knowledge and teaching, which puffs up brother against brother, rather than being led by the needs of others and love which unifies. It should not surprise us that in these last days the deception would be worse than in Jesus' day.

However, let us turn our attention away from these people and toward one another. My hope for the Church, and for my neighbors of the 19th Ward in particular, is that we would come to know one another apart from these divisions and begin to recognize the Church as Jesus sees it.

Let us love one another in the communities where we find ourselves.

Learning to Follow His lead

This year has been a challenging year to say the least. My family is learning to come together without our fearless leader, Daddy, and each find our place. It's been interesting to walk through grief as a Mom, while observing and supporting each of my kids as they are grieving too. I have had many situations come up where I just didn't know what I am to do. It could be practical things. It could be relational things. It could just be simple things like I lost something or I don't know where Bill kept that! So here's what I've been learning. The Bible tells us to "Pray without ceasing." When I was a kid, I thought, Well that's impossible! I can't pray all the time! I am doing other things too! Of course we aren't praying at every moment are we? I'm normally quick to pray in situations, but as a married woman, I was also quick to consult with my husband for his wisdom. That's totally normal! But now that he is in Heaven, I am realizing how often I would consult with him before praying. So the Lord has given me a gift lately. I am continuously praying as things come up. Is prayer a magical solution? It it the "Power of Prayer"? I would challenge that thought. I see no power in prayer. I see power coming from a real interactive relationship with God. His Holy Spirit speaks. He brings the answer to mind. He answers prayer. He gives wisdom when I need it. I can't handle all the wisdom at once. I don't need it all now.
As I find myself wondering what now? Or why? Or who gets the honor and praise for this? Its got to be our Lord. I NEED to turn to Him.
I can't even tell you all the stories of how He just keeps answering prayer. I'm telling you I would have a story for every single day. It's mind blowing how He is always with me. I tell you because He is always with you too. Call out to Him. He is right there. I'm not referring to just a rescuer. I'm saying a comforter. A PEACE that only He can give. The Bible also says that "He goes before me." When we face uncertainty, believe this truth! He goes before you. He is right there ready to walk it out with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. So friend, I encourage you to pray. To accept Him. To allow the Lord to guide your life. Ask Him to show up for you. He promises that He will.

A Return after a Looong break!

Hello my friends!

I have decided to come back to the blog. It has been many years since I've been here, but I see the good in journaling and sharing my adventures!
So I see the last you heard from us was in 2013! I've had so much happen in these past few years, so I don't even know how to encapsulate the details.

Bill started working as a full time Evangelist in 2014. He poured into sharing the gospel, discipleship and building up the church. He started making youtube videos on his channel. It is under Willliam Gucker. He had a website called Beefy Sheep, but I decided not to keep it running since it didn't have activity on it. The videos are still available and organized on his youtube channel though.

So some big things are we found out that Bill had a brain tumor in October of 2015. At the time, I was 7 months pregnant with William. Bill & I made some decisions on treatment, & started chemo and then radiation. William was born shortly after in January of 2016. We had a quiet year after that first treatment, and then the cancer returned in the Spring of 2018. We tried another round of treatment, but it wasn't helping. Bill tried many other methods and some experimental medicines too. During this time, our church community,  friends and family rallied around us and supported like nothing I've ever seen. It was such a special time. Bill went to be with the Lord on September 28, 2018 with his closest friends and family around his bedside. His father witnessed two angels over his bed moments before. Truly amazing.

So it's been a year since Bill went to be with the Lord now. The kids and I have spent the last year grieving, and getting reoriented as a family. What does life look like without daddy here? It's been hard and good all at the same time. It's been amazing to see how the Lord has allowed me to stay home with the kids, continue to home school, and be taken care of by the Lord himself through the body of Christ and some provisions through the State.

So I'm not sure exactly what content I will be sharing on here yet, but I just am sitting down and starting. We will see what it becomes. It might be a place that I share memories of Bill. It might be our adventures as a family. It might be a place about my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It might be about life and what it looks like to live in a big family. At any rate, it's my journey. It's something that is worth sharing. I hope you can come, learn and enjoy. Be encouraged because my hope is is the Lord. I hope you can see His goodness through my life and family!

Rachel